Grace when you are Crushed!

These last two weeks I have been in the Word more and have              written more scripture and prayer in my journal than                      I had the ENTIRE last year put together, I am fairly sure......

I think the Lord was strengthening my heart and mind, for nights like last night.......
We told our kids what was going on yesterday.....
The news of the new baby was of course met with joyful squeals....
and followed up with the news of our delayed adoption and the fact that Betty and Felix were no longer for sure our own......

Solomon being 1 1/2 had nothing to say on the matter.

Eden being three said with joy, "Is the baby gonna pop out today?"
"No honey."

Jubilee and Tobias at 7 and almost 9 cried and ran off announcing that mom already had enough baby's!
They came back pretty quick of course and we told them it was ok to cry, we cried to, we assured them.

Jed being the young man of the house at almost 11 probably had some idea of what we were going to tell them.... it's a benefit of being able to read and being really into mama's phone at this point in his life.  And of having been around Mom for several pregnancies, all her classic symptoms being back.... 
He was sad but very quiet......

And then as kids often do they moved on with their day.  They played outside, the boys played their little league baseball game, (and won!) 

At bedtime we prayed as we always do for Betty and Felix.
It was super hard, to get the words out.
I prayed for God to bring them into a family who would love them, the family he has chosen.

And Jubilee burst into tears, mid-prayer. 
"But Mom,I want them in our family!"
And I joined her in crying to.  "So do I." I assured her.
As you can imagine, bedtime took EVEN longer than normal last night.

Anyway, this morning I am sitting here looking at the mounds of scripture God gave to me these last few weeks.  There is so much here.  I don't even know where to start.

I will share it all slowly over the next weeks I think.

Today I will start with Job 26:14
'Behold, these are but the outskirts of his ways,
And how small a whisper do we hear of Him!
But the thunder of his power- who can understand.'

Next to this in my Bible, I have these words, our Pastor often quotes.

'You are God

I am not

You are always right

I am often Wrong'

I do not understand God or His ways. But I choose trust.

 Not perfectly, mind you. there has been plenty of pouting and foot stomping and tears and anger.

Kind of like a little kid who didn't get her way.

In the words of Mr. Beaver, from the Chronicles of Narnia, when Lucy and Susan asked if Aslan was 'safe'.' Mr Beaver's response;

"Safe? Of course he isn't safe, but he is Good. After all He is not a tame lion!"

 ok here's one more....

Hebrews 12:26-29
26 At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” 27 This phrase, “Yet once more”, indicates the removal of things that are shaken—that is, things that have been made—in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. 28 Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, 29 for our God is a consuming fire.